a little drama doesn't hurt.. does it?!

woohoo..:(

2005-09-18T01:21:00.000-07:00

grabe.. kakatapos lng ng defense nmen sa design. nag defense kme ng walang alam..
super rush lhat., kse nde nman tlga gumagana ung prototype nmen, so plan tlga na nxt week na kme magpapsa, tpos bglang mei sumulpot na gawa nang ckt., e d ayos, at aun gumagana pa..swerte! cympre rush pti poster kse nun lng napicturan.. last na kme nagdefense 9 pm na un eh to think na 430-9 ung class nmen. hehe,.sumugod agad kme pra wala ng prob. pasado nman kme at ang saya2., mkhang cnuswerte..

sana lng magtutuloy2 na swerte pti sa archi.. sana lng magbaba c sir maramba ng passing. :( although mjo mababa most of my classmates ren pro sana lang mejo makita nya ung effort nmen.. haaay..

pati pla sa elective, mjo nagalit lng nman c mam smen,. we wanted to say sorry but we don't know how.. hay nku.. mkhang napuno na tlga cya sa section nmen.. huhu..:,(

d ako makatulog kse d pren ako makapaniwala na tpos na ung design, in just 1 snap of a finger nagkaron ng prototype. wahaha.. mag 1 week na akong puyat.. tpos mon-wed mei finals ulit.. sana matapos na 2..

hay nku, minsan ayoko tlga ng gantong feeling.. sana lng wag masyadong insensitive un mga ibang tao jan..

miss me?

2005-08-28T03:47:00.000-07:00

am back.. grabe 3 months na pla.. busy lng sa mga bgay2 eh.. umuulan na xe kya naicipang kong magiba ng lay-out at magpost nren..(sana lang wag ako tamarin ulit. d kse ako makatulog,
mkhang cnusumpong nnman ako ng pagka insomniac ko.. kaya naicipan ko na baguhin layout ko.. dme na nagyre sken sa 3 months na un.. haha.. kme na.. 3 months na nga eh.. grabe ang bilis., i finally took the risk and it was all worth it nman. so far, so good.. :)

galing kme sa megamall ngyn, fastest-geek competition, wala kse kmeng archi kya nagpunta nlng kme dun para support kei gucci at umaasang mei plus points kei sir maramba.. 11 daw ang start,. at xmpre 11 den ako umalis d2 sa bhay, ang galing noh? ksabay ko c rico at c xtian, na inaakala kong alm nila ang patutunguhan kya ako sumabay sa knila, un pla nde ren nla alam. mabuti nlng mei nkskay kme sa fx na saleslady ng megamall, at nung bumaba xa bumaba nren kme.. ngttxt na c mark at c alta hnhnap ako buti nlng nksabay nmen c sir sa escalator at naituro nya ang tamang daan sa amen.. 12 na kme dmting at xmpre nde pa nagccla un contest.. 2 pa daw kaya kumain muna kme , after that balik na kme dun expecting na malapit na at ang galing2 kse 430 na nagsimula ung sa university level.. sbrang nakakapagod na maghintay.. 5 hrs kmeng naghintay.. syang nga lng nde nanalo c gucci,. mjo natense kse xa at nalaglag screw.. tpos umwi na ako..

buti nlng mei plus 30 ata, e nde pko nakasuot ng shirt,.dapat lng sayang naman ang pagsigaw2 nmen dun noh..

parang ang dame2 kong gustong gwen na nde ko alm kung pano ko ccmulan,.=(

ngyn blik sa dte.. tambak sa skulworks..ayoko nang magaral minsan eh,. nde b pdeng pagkapanganak sayo meron na agad ikaw profession, tipong hihintayin ka na lng tumanda, kunyare magaaral ka pren pro sana mas madali na lng.. haaay..

grbe, tumitilaok na mga manok at akong gcng na gcng pa.. kung ano2 tuloy gngwa ko para lng makatulog ako.. sana pla inaccept ko na ung pinapatype ni xobe pra nman
sana ngging productive ako..

summer bitterness

2005-05-15T22:35:00.000-07:00

My mom called kninang am, para lang sbhin sa amen na ppnta na cla bora!!! At tlgang nang-inggit d b?! grbe I want to have a vacation na tlga..:( tpos nnman 1 week na mostly exams and cram ng assignments..(hehe..) mttpos nren ang summer at bitter ako kse nde ko man lng naenjoy ang “summer vacation”, I miss going to different places na tlga.. khit gusto ko nde nman pde kse mei psok nga kme..

Super sya ako ngyn!! Oo dhel sa kanya,. D ko maexplain ung feeling eh,. Basta masaya!! Mdme na nga ngttanong kung kme na daw b.. nde pa nman tlga pro I can’t really hide the fact na mei feelings na ren ako sa kanya at special tlga cya sa aken. Mag 3 months na kmeng araw2 mgakusap at magkatext.. ive known the real him na nga(ata?!).. swak tlga kme sa isa’t-isa, soulm8s nga kme eh! pro cympre d nman maiiwasan tlga sken ung magicip tlga.. sbe nga nila d mo mllman kung nde mo iririsk.. kya nga pinagiicipan ko tlgang mbuti,. Willing ka nman maghintay d b?! hehehe… 18!

Pinagtripan ako ni shobe ginawan ako ng tattoo… ang galing nga eh..ganda noh?!

2005-05-15T08:42:00.000-07:00

yingyang

2005-05-15T08:41:00.000-07:00

masterpiece no.1 (mjo tabinge pa ung wings)

ilo-ilo

2005-05-14T23:32:00.000-07:00

Kakaalis lng nila mama khpon ppunta nang ilo-ilo,. C papa n daisson ksma.. kakainggit nga eh kse punta daw cla bora!!! Arrghh… naicip ko nga bkit ngyn pa natuloy ang mga binabalak na mga lakad, ngyn pa na nde nko naka LOA.. at nde nren pde umabsent.. cgro gnun tlga soobrang inggit na ako!!! Tpos cla yan2, punta nman Puerto ksma cla lani xmpre wala nnman ako sa picture!!! Hate it!!! Nun nagdecide ako mag Loa wala nman ako gnawa sa province,. As in walang mapuntahan. Wrong timing!!! Nakakinggit nga mga tao na ngbabakasyon, mei pampalubag loob nman eh,. Ung outing ng EE-ECE-CoE sa May 28, pro iba pren sana kung family ung ksma.. nakakamis lng ng sbra2.. nagkakalokohan nga na alis daw cla lhat tas iwan ako dito, okey lng nman un eh..(sob!) nde na kse pde magabsent lalo na sa compiler lab,. Gusto ko na tuloy graduate ng maaga..haaay..

2005-05-14T00:10:00.000-07:00

sweet!

2005-05-14T00:07:00.000-07:00

my kenkoy dad!!

2005-05-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

with my aunts and cuzins

2005-05-13T23:58:00.000-07:00

d pa nakuntento,. kailngn tlga humiga..;p

2005-05-13T23:57:00.000-07:00

sweet noh?!

2005-05-13T23:55:00.000-07:00

let it snow! let it snow! let it snow! perfect timing tlga!

2005-05-13T23:54:00.000-07:00

see how happy my dad was?! (1st tym makakita ng snow!!)

2005-05-13T23:52:00.000-07:00

yup,. the tiles have gold in them.. cool huh?!

2005-05-13T23:49:00.000-07:00

at hearst castle..

2005-05-13T23:48:00.000-07:00

c papa feeling bata!! kilala nya c shrek!!!

welcome home!!

2005-05-07T23:23:00.000-07:00

Welcome Home!!

My mom and dad are back!! And I am definitely glad to see them. My dad went to the states 3 weeks ago for a much needed vacation and to fetch my mom (daw!) that explains why daisson stayed with us these past weeks. From the looks of my dad’s face I am sure he enjoyed his stay in the states. Aside from the texts we receive every now and then telling us where they were going and how much he is enjoying; I saw a different smile on his face. He really needed that vacation to at least for the second time for him to stop thinking about our business and just enjoy. Sbrang thankful lng ako kse I have them as my parents, sbrang wala ka nang hahanapin pa, kya nga mkita ko lng cla masaya sbrang saya na ren ako. Andaming kwento ng dad ko, how he was fascinated by the states they visited, and the scenery they have seen(obvious b e pics plng nila over 600 shots na!). Ive posted some of their pics..(the best ones where the smile of my dad is astonishing..) umuwi na ren pla cla sa Isabela pra straight pahinga na. wala nren c daisson dito, namiss ko tuloy ang bruho kse wala na ako ksama dito pag umaga khit naglolokohan lng kme plge..:(

Hah,. Im learning to overcome my fears. Ngyn ko lng ngwa to pro masaya naman tlga ako,. I just don’t wana commit the same mistake again tpos magsisisi nnman ako sa huli. Buti na lng naiintindihan nya ako at willing nman daw cya maghintay.

Current feeling: happy and contented.

love is in d air..

2005-05-01T01:12:00.000-07:00

Am I too dense? Im starting to feel that way.. maybe because of what a friend told me the other day but the heck I just don’t want to assume things. Its funny coz I thought (sorry for this) that he was just joking kse he was a close friend of mine. And he really didn’t tell me face to face. After that things are the same as before. And then a friend told me that she heard he was courting me na daw,. Cympre my initial reaction was shocked I didn’t really expect na un na pla un,. I mean after nya sbhin gnun na un?! Im the kind of person na sobra walang alam sa mga ganyan. Although mei mga nanligaw na sa aken before, 1 plng ang official na ngcourt sken at ngyn plng un. I mean kailngn mo tlgang ipaintindi sa aken at iexplain a zillion times na u r courting me. Nde basehan ung paghatid2 sken sa haws kse gngwa un ng mga tao sken 1st year plng ako, dat doesn’t mean ur courting me na. nakakatawa lng icipin na un na naiicip ng mga tao eh nde ko nga alam na totoo pla un. Ayoko ren nman kseng icipin nag nun na nga un kse natuto na ako..hehe..

Nakakatawa revelations ng mga tao ngyn, I mean d nman feb pro prng luv is in the air. Shocked lng cgro ako sa mga nangyyre sa mga tao,. But im happy for them too. Kse its not how two people become a couple its really how they feel for each other that matters most. We were arguing about this last thurs, kse a friend of us had a gf na and sbrang bilis lng ng pangyyre. Aun kinontra ni Lil na kesyo ang bilis daw, na prng nde mo daw massbe na pinagdasal tlga kse kakacourt lng nya dte sa 1 girl tas bgla mei gf na cya agad. Ramdam ko nga na prng masakit den k M un noh sbhan ka ban nman ng gnun d b?! kaya nga no comment nlng ako nun kse I don’t wana argue wid Lil kse nde tlga magpapatalo un. Pro for me ok lng un as long as they are happy and they really love each other tska they are friends at first nman so wla nang kaso un. And legal nman na cla at mukhang msaya namn tlga cla.

Hay naku, people are starting to tease us na, im getting used to it na nga eh. Bhala na kung anong mangyre basta im happy. I may never know.

random thoughts

2005-04-26T02:09:00.000-07:00

hehe.. i am supposed to be doing my research pro la pa ata ako sa mood eh,.

nd2 youngest nmen sa manila magstay cya d2 til dmting cla papa,. bonding kmeng 4 ngyn 4 2 1/2 weeks..hehe..

ngpapanggap kme ngyng 4 na maglinis2 kse pag ngs2han nila papa bblhan na kme aircon..(at last!! nag pay off na ang pagdradrama koh..)

xmpre pasukan nnman nmen mjo nakakatamad nga kse super init to think na nde pa aircon ung ibang rooms sa mapua, and xmpre the idea of summer=vacation tpos e2 kme nagaaral nnman!!! ndme ngang loa ngyn eh mjo konti lng kse tao sa skul.. or bka nman umuuwi lng agad kse mainit or tambay sa mall..:) sabagay ano nga ba nman un konting lakad lng ppnta sm kesa nman maghahanap ka sa skul ng pdeng mapunthan na malamig na lugar e alam mo nmang wala tlga kundi lib lng.. hehe.. minsan nga napapicip tlga ako kung san nppunta ung perang bnbyad ng mga students e ang mhal2 na nga tas nde pa aircon,. unlike iba schools mas mababa na nga tuition fully airconditioned pa lhat ng rooms.. san nga kya nappupunta?!

summer nnman nagaaya friends ko nung elementary sa puerto.. i want to go pro sad to say i can't pnu mei compiler lab ako ng sunday..:( kainis tlga...

knina nung vacant ko ngpnta me tambayan tas usap lng kme ni ate dhinz.. reminisce ang drama nmen knina. sabagay nakakmis sbra yfc,. prng kse wala na akong gngwa,. namimis ko lng ung dte na khit na hrap ka physically, msya ka nman kse enjoy ka sa gngwa mo. ang dame nga nmen napagusapan,. narealize ko ren tumatanda na tlga ako,. kung dte baby ako ng lhat ngyn ate na ako ng lahat. m just miising the old tyms. cympre pag pagtanda ang usapan xmpre nde mawawala ang usapin tungkol sa LUVLYF.. haha.. nakakatwa pro totoo.. prng natanong ko tuloy sa sarli ko kung pnu mo malalamang un na.. i mean na he is really the right guy God wanted you to have. how can you really tell na love na un na he is really worth risking?! i cant really rely on the signs na naicip ko lng,. kse xmpre u know deep inside na mron cya nun or un ung suot nya,. xmpre lyk mo nga eh so bias ka. naicip ko nga sana tipong bglang mgkaron nlng cya ng wings pra malaman ko na cya na nga tlga.. hay naku.. pnu nga b?! xmpre d enuf na compatible lng kayong 2, na pareho kayo ng mga gsto, na masaya kayo pag magkasama kayo,. mgulo tlga na masaya. nakakatawa pro ngyn ko lng na feel ung gnto,. sigh..

commitment

2005-04-14T13:24:00.000-07:00

** while checking my mail ive read this one and i totally agreed with it(so will u ;p)..

The most important, most critical component in successful loving is commitment.Not love.

It's easy to love without commitment. People do it all the time. Easy to love, to give of oneself for a while. But commitment implies bonding in such a way that one promises to keep the fires of love burning indefinitely. It also means shutting one's heart to the possibility of loving another who might even be more attractive, even more lovable.

Not easy.

This is why solid commitments are not at all as common as we are led to believe. In fact, more often than not, I think that the commitment two lovers make are not equal. What I mean is that the commitment of one might be a whole lot more or a whole lot less than the partner's. We see it all the time. One loves more than the other and is more committed than the other. We have often seen lopsided love relationships where one partner is giving so much more to the relationship than the other.

But writers and poets seem to always indicate that love isn't just a two-way street, but an equal two-way street. That hardly ever happens. It is impossible to determine exactly how much a man loves a woman or how much a woman cares for a man.

Love cannot be measured and that can be a huge problem.

You can love someone and tell him "I love you" and you're telling the truth. But how much do you love him? Enough to let him court you? Enough to marry him? Enough to die for him?
THE GREATEST TEST OF TRUE LOVE IS COMMITMENT.

And the greatest indicator of deep love is deep commitment.

I have heard people say all the right words, make all the right moves and pledge undying love, only to walk away weeks or months later. Were they in love? Sure they were. But not enough to allow them to hold strong in their love. Not enough to keep a commitment regardless of the pain. Lover gets this sinking feeling when there is a sense that one is more committed than the other. When one is giving a lot more than one is receiving. When one's love is a lot more solid than the creaky love of the partner.

When a couple believe strongly that their commitment to each other is rock solid, there is a deep sense of security, a feeling that it's OK to give all because the gift of yourself is safe in the hands of the beloved.

If, however, there is doubt or, even worse, the conviction that one is engaged in one-way giving, in a one-way commitment that is lopsided, then there is a tendency to pull back and not give as much. And when that happens, love begins to fade.

m back

2005-04-13T13:09:00.000-07:00

Hahaha.. been a long time,. I guess I just needed some time to unwind and really focus on what matters to me most. Last term I focused on my studies, and it turned out okay. Maybe all I need is determination and willingness to do the things I want to do.

Its almost 2 months of not writing anything.. although I visit my blog when I’m online, I’m not really in the mood of chit- chatting the happenings in my life. I kinda think this blog has become my confidant during “those times”. And now im back again.. alive and kicking..

For the past months a lot has changed. Aside from the fact that im now 21 (I hate to admit it..) and that im nearly graduating. (claps!) but whats most surprising is that we meet certain people whom we don’t expect to be the one you are comfortable and most happy with.. I mean its odd how it changes things. im learning to open my heart again, wala nmang mawawala eh. Taking things slowly but surely. Nde nman ako nagmamadali, and it’s the right thing to do. TRUE LOVE WAITS and it will happen at the right place in GOD’s time. Im super happy right now.

im PROUD to be a MAPUAN

2005-02-12T09:45:00.000-08:00

Valentines Day is for 2 people who are in-love with each other, for the ones who are loved and the ones who are loving. Red is the color of LOVE. Valentines day equals the color RED and FLOWERS. Mapuans indeed will surely show the country how we truly love our school. On Valentines day, we will all be wearing BLACK, and offer flowers and prayers to our beloved school. Asking why?! they have changed the name MAPUA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY into MALAYAN COLLEGES without even asking the student’s side. We don’t like the fact that they’ll change it because MAPUA is certainly known for producing competitive ENGINEERS and we are certainly not paying lump sums of money to graduate in MALAYAN COLLEGES. I first heard about this issue last Monday we were discussing some stuffs with our prof and he asked if we heard about the issue, some of us do but most of us didn’t. I thought it wasn’t up until next school year or next term but I was shocked when they told me it was approved by the Ched already. Violent reactions were visible among the students. The next morning people were wearing button pins and posters were all over the campus which reads: IM PROUD TO BE A MAPUAN! NO TO MALAYAN! This is the first time I saw people really concerned about the topic. All students were talking about this. Yesterday, Dr. Vea organized a students dialogue. Friends of mine told me that the room was jam-packed. And the students were really asking straight-forward questions to Dr. Vea. One of the students really stood up and voiced out what he wanted them to know. We have learned that it was already approved by the Ched, and that it was Malayan Colleges already. We were fed up to them not even listening to us, after the quarterm issue which they said it was US who wanted it,. I don’t think they’ll win this time. Last night, 3 students roamed around the school informing everyone what will happen on Monday, I had goose bumps listening to them. I can see the students eagerness to pursue this one and really fight for what they believe in. The rivalries was set aside and they just wanted to be united on Monday. I really am happy to see them fight this time, Mapuans pa when you see them ull feel na they are like the most insensitive or sobrang la pakialam na tao maybe we are fed up, the quarterm though has its advantages but it has LOTS of disadvantages. They don’t consider the people na matatamaan nila, they just want what’s best for them.. or only ONE WORD:PROFIT.. honestly I am scared on Monday, but I do am willing to be part of it because I’m proud to be a Mapuan!

past weeks...

2005-02-12T09:42:00.000-08:00

ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED MY BLOG. SHOULD I SAY M BUSY?! I GUESS SO.. IVE BEEN BUSY WITH MANY THINGS, SCHOOL (OF COURSE!), WITH OUR UPCOMING CAMPUS TOUR PARTY, AND OTHER STUFFS. AND LATELY THINGS ARE JUST FALLING RIGHT INTO THEIR PLACES. AND THAT’S SOMETHING TO SMILE FOR,. RYT?! DIS PAST WEEKS..(I HAVENT UPDATED THAT LONG?! GOSH..) I WAS GETTING HOME EARLIER THAN USUAL, SLEEPING EARLIER AND GETTING UP EARLIER, I FELT I HAD SO MUCH TO DO AND I WANTED TO FINISH THEM RIGHT AWAY. I SOUND LIKE I HAVE UBER MANY THINGS TO DO, BUT NOT REALLY.

THESE ARE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME THIS PAST WEEKS(OR THE ONES I REMEMBER THOUGH):

*HE TXTED ME..(D GUY I WAS TALKING ABOUT LONG TIME AGO) ACTUALLY I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS HIM, HE TXTED ME WITH HIS OTHER SIM(THE SIM THAT HE TOLD ME THAT WAS MISSING) SO I TXTED HS DIS?! AND HE DIDN’T REPLY. THEN I REALIZED IT WAS KNIDA FAMILIAR AND IT WAS HIM NGA.. I FELT I WAS KINDA HARSH ON HIM, BUT SWEAR I REALLY DIDN’T KNOW..

*I WENT OUT WITH 2 OF MY FRIENDS WAY BACK ELEMENTARY DAYS(AGAIN). HENRI AND JASEN, WE PLANNED TO WATCH A MOVIE BUT JASEN COULDN’T COZ HE HAD OTHER THINGS TO DO, SO WE ACCOMPANIED HIM, AFTER THAT WE FOLLOWED OUR YOUNGER SIBS(fyi:HENRI’S YOUNGER SIS IS MY YOUNGER BROTHER’S CLASSMATE BEFORE AND JASEN’S YOUNGER BRO WAS MY YOUNGER SIS’ CLASSMATE. GALING NOH?!.) AND WENT TO BAYWALK. IT WAS NICE TO SEE THEM AGAIN AND REMINISCE ABOUT YESTERYEARS.

*IM REALLY EXCITED WITH OUR CAMPUS TOUR AND AT THE SAME TIME SCARED. SCARED ON THE TOUR PARTY ITSELF, BUT IT IS REALLY NOT US WHO’LL WORK NMAN EH..I JUST HOPE WE COULD REALLY GATHER PEOPLE TO REALLY SEE THE PARTY AND LEARN SOMETHING FROM IT.

*LAST WEEK WAS HELL WEEK FOR ME FOR I HAD EXAMS EVERY OTHER DAY. THE EXAMS TURNED OUT GOOD BUT UNFORTUNATELY OTHER DIDN’T BUT I CAN BAWI NMAN NEXT TYM.

KRISTEL’S DEBUT IS COMING AND WE WERE PART OF THE PROGRAM.. I WAS THINKING WHAT TO WEAR AND I CAN’T SEEM TO FIND THE RIGHT ONE.. ARRGGHH.. I HATE THIS FEELING..

3 Qs

2005-01-22T16:47:00.000-08:00

I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more no less. Ask me anything you want. Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.

Ask me in the tagboard section. I'll answer your questions in my blog..:)

good days are OVER!!

2005-01-22T16:45:00.000-08:00

After days of going to school and expecting to have at least a class.. I indeed had my break.. I was getting tired of waiting and making tambay sa school and at our PERYA-like booths..(is it supposed to be that way?!), the rice in a box booths in the hallways which are not making my stomach full and yet I still eat them, and the sound of music playing in the quadrangle which atleast makes the people feel the FOUNDATION week at the most. While most of us are enjoying ourselves from the booths and from the concerts every night, there are some who are rather sad facing the reality that they have classes and that their profs are that KJ to teach them amidst the noise coming from the outside. Mapuan culture what dya say?! At last I have one day of break. i hate to think that after tomorrow everything we will back to normal again,. meaning no foundation week.. no more excuse of having no classes.. no more people roaming around the quadrangle and no more concerts every night at the gym..awww… and facing the reality that after a week of celebrating,. We still need to study fast because our lessons are a week behind.. and of course hell-week as mapuans say meaning having quizzes and making templates are best friends again. That explains why Mapuans are always noisy when parade comes,. Nakawala sa kural is the term. Ive learned the ways of surviving from this institute and am proud to be a Mapuan.

Battle of the Bands ended already,. sumali Old Testament Band(YFC band). 5 bands competed for the grand prize.. saying nga lng 4th place un YFC but its ok kse knowing and seeing them play on the stage makes it really worth it. Galing2 nga nila eh.. and eventually we discovered a NEW crush.. aha.. ung keyboardist/vocalist ng OT band.. sori na lng sa mga nde nakapanuod.. hahaha.. aminado ako na I was really amazed with them,. maybe because it was my first time seeing them play songs as a band. Not the usual jamming sessions sa tambayan na guitars and bongos lng ang instruments.. Galing nga nila eh.. super!! And they will compete sa South-A Creative Competitions 2m.. pray for them ha.. ciao!!

small blessings

2005-01-22T16:40:00.000-08:00

Theres a rally going here in Mendiola.. Our building is just beside CEU(TRIVIA: the bldg where a reporter was hurt during EDSA III) and of course you can actually see the people rallying. There were a lot of them really. I think they were from Hacienda Luisita and they were fighting for their labor rights I think. Because they were only paid 50php a day. Whatta?! Some don’t get enough benefits.. I think they should be treated equally too, not because they are poor and not educated,. it doesn’t mean that rich people should fool them. d ba nila naicip na without these farmers or what they call their trabahadors are the ones working their blood and butts out just for them to have money to splurge?! Grbe nman,. They are uber rich na nga why cant they share their blessings to other people..the farmers arent actually what we call others for they are the one who makes money for them. I do not actually know what really happened but I just hope itll be fixed soon. They wouldn’t be spending their whole day here if they aren’t telling the truth,. Different kinds of people are here, girls and boys, young and old, the blessed one and the poor. Kaya nde umaasenso pilipinas eh.. klan kaya 2 mttpos?! Napaicip tuloy ako and I really feel super blessed knowing that at least we eat 3 times a day, have enough money to buy necessities and splurge on other things we fancy. I felt like I have been slapped directly one my face,. I was always thinking about myself alone and sometimes irritated when I cant get what I want right away,. Samantalang these people who works so hard wanted only a lil increase in their salary.. just makes me appreciate more the little things God has given me..:)

Random thoughts

2005-01-21T11:52:00.000-08:00

" love is sometimes choosing between your stand of what you wanted or losing the stand of your happiness."

"Sometimes you have to let your heart lead you, even if its leading you to a place you are not supposed to be in."(from lucky's blog)

love can be that complicated right?! you can never really get what you want,. yet you still set him free trying to believe that he will come back though the truth is he wanted someone else.. then the girl he likes wanted someone else too.. and the cycle goes on and on.. we always tell him to stop being martyr not knowing we are being like that too. Sometimes we are hurt soo much that we end up hating that person one minute but just the sight of him makes the hurting disappear and we end up loving him even more. Not knowing we are hurting someone so into ours. But is telling the truth worth it?! Even if it means hurting the other person?! I guess it is worth it.. sometimes taking the risk is the answer to your happiness.. maybe?!

A friend txtd me last night and asked me if I was okay.. I was so quiet this past few days daw,. He was just asking if I was okay.. then I thought if I was really that quiet this past few days,. I think I wasnt. Maybe I was just not into my ingay days and wanted to spend time with myself. I was always smiling nman sa school and I wasnt always sad,. not that sad. Why nga b?! many thoughts are emerging from my mind,. Random thoughts I may say.. I miss my mom and dad.. txting my mom everyday makes me miss her even more.. I just missed our out-of-town trips every summer which we couldn’t do now because of the darn quarterm. Thw quarterm makes me sad either, I cant do the things I used to do before. I cant seem to balance everything,. Am I that bad?! Maybe Im just getting tired of everything I used to do.. and I opened my eyes of the other things Ive missed. Maybe others may say I certainly didnt missed anything but thats what you think.. I value my friends so much and it hurts me to realize that I wasnt really there for them. I can never be someone Im not.. maybe this is just not what im destined to be..

when your birthday is really approaching there are quite a lot of things that rumbles into your mind.. aside from the fact that you are getting a year OLDER again.. sometimes you get to think of your future. Yah, I sometimes think about it na, grabe im not a kid anymore not a teenager either and yet I still am immature and afraid to accept reality.. Reality that I may able to save for myself soon and work for my future.. and eventually settle down and have my own family. I can actually be mature in other things but Im not that mature enough to face the outside world. That’s what im afraid of now,. Im not brave enough to face that, im afraid I might fall and fail. But thats what life is nman d b?! falling and to rise everytime we fall. But Im afraid pren,. Is this really what it feels to be mature?! Can I learn to be mature?! We may never know.. I may never know..

"Lord, Create in me a humble heart that I may see Your face"
Mark 3:13-19

and the winner is...

2005-01-19T01:22:00.000-08:00

at last finished na ung mr. and ms cardinals,. c aiza rico ung ms. cardinals and rico ung name nung mr. cardinals. actually lam ko na kung cnu mananalo i expected it,. sa poise plng at pagdadala kuhang-kuha na ni aiza.. c mel nga nakuha pa sa top 5,. o anong sey ng mga umaapi sa knya noon..huh?! mjo madali nga lng ngyn ung eliminations,. after selecting 5 un na agad,. sabagay para nde ren mainip ung mga pips.. c yoshi cympre ever stage manager,.hehe..

c bedick as usual nascout nnmn as model.. c irish nga ren eh..hehehe..

haaay,. nde ako makatulog eh, yes i am thinking about "HIM" (no! nde ung dte bgo nnman eto).. no naming names sbe nga ni dir damian..(bka maudlot eh,. tska nlng pag feeling ko okei na..bka mabasa nya ren eh..hya ako..) hlo?! d ka na b natatauhan?! e2 nnman ako,. magiisip at mukhang magiilusyon nnman.. e pnu nman kse ewan ko b kung bkit lge na lng gnto,. kung nde ako ang sasaktan,. sobrang manhid nman o kaya sobrang torpe!!! grrrr!!!! minsan nman ewan ko kung bka ako NNMAN ang ngbbgay ng meaning sa mga bgay2.. pnu ko nga b malalaman kung friends lng tingin nya sken?! nde nman cgro ako sobrang manhid para nde ko malaman kung hanggng dun nga lng tlga d b?! e kung feeling ko hanggng dun lng e d sana nde nko nalilito2 d2 ngayn.. o bka nga ako nnman.. feeling ko kse sobrang okay na eh,. matagal ko na cyang kilala*ahem*, kilalang-kilala. pro pnu kung ako lng ung gnto nafifeel ang pangit d b?! ayoko nmang tanungin..(no way!) nakakainis ng gntong feeling.. bka nga special friend lng ako.. na nasasbhan ng kung ano2?! kadaramahan nnman ang nalalaman ko!! nagbbgay lng ako mg meaning sa mundo!!! ayoko na.. so we didnt gone out for a date.. it wasnt a date! normal lng na txt ka nya araw2,. at tanungin kung ano na gngwa mo..friends kayo d b?! never mind him saying sorry dhil nde ka nya ntxt for ilang days,. he was just being so like him,. friends kayo d b?! kaw nman,. super kind lng cya..yan,. that's more like it! =(

2005-01-17T06:50:00.000-08:00

alta, pia, joyce & moi @pansol

2005-01-17T06:49:00.000-08:00

barkada @ joel's haws

2005-01-17T06:47:00.000-08:00

nona, cham n moi!!

2005-01-17T06:46:00.000-08:00

wid hs frens @ camp vizcarra.

NBSB

2005-01-08T23:48:00.000-08:00

haha.. ive just read a book which is definitely one really made for me.. i found it on a magazine and was really hoping to buy it asap,. then pia has one pla. As soon as i got it,. my nose was stuck on the book. the title of the book...tadaaa..NBSB! short for No Boyfriend Since Birth.. i find the book funny and interesting..though the book was about a career woman who hasnt had any BOY yet, and i can REALLY relate to some of it..:D is it because we share the same dilemma(what was i thinking?!)?! yah.. ive been through asking myself who, where, and WHEN,. this and that.. but heck,. Ill finally find the one for me, right?! . i wont never really force myself to "fall-in-love" just for the sake of not being branded as NBSB?! am not that desperate.. though i get alot of teasing from my friends, i wont still never force myself, and besides im getting used to their teasing..:D

the feelings are gone.. for the crushes i had last year. I didnt want to sound bitter knowing that one of them has had his girlfriend already, ill have one of my own...SOON..(how long is that?!)

im definitely learning a lot from last year,. i swore never to fall for guys who really make pacute and lambing. Sometimes guys are too yabang.. some are so proud of themselves knowing that we like them and then they’ll make lambing even more. Of course I noe guys are not the insensitive nman,. some guys nman are way too over confident,. Two-timing freaks.. and they’ll tell us na the 2nd girl know the situation nman,. Just because they know we love them,. And LOVE for us means UNCONDITIONAL. Yah,. Were martyrs(were born to be like that nman d b?!) and all but Taking advantage is the term.

Teka,. Why am I sounding so like this and bitter?! Is it because of the book I just read?! Maybe the time?!.. (2am already..) or is it just me?! Dunno..

the year that was 2004

2005-01-05T23:45:00.000-08:00

Haaay.. another year has gone,. And yet I still think I haven’t done enough of everything. 2004 was really unforgettable. Why?! These are some of the many things that am happy for in 2004:

*** i got to be a little independent on everything,.

*** I cried a lot last year, got angry, and got HURT by many things and the people around me. But im glad these happens because it made me a better woman.

*** i fell-in-love(or was it?!), had my uber-many kilig moments with my uber-many crushes.

*** saw PAUL ARTADI for the first time. At Galleria, 1:45 pm, August 22.(cympre makaklimutan ko b 2?!)

*** had greater ties with my family, had many bonding moments.

*** at last after 3 long years of waiting and envy(?!) i had a new phone but lost it as well (galing noh?!) =c, well i realized that it wasn’t really important..;p(bitter!)

*** had communications with long lost friends.

*** I enjoyed being a Computer Engineering stud.

*** had some shopping sprees.(I guess)

*** I learned how to drive.

These are SOME of the things which made my 2004 a blast. some means theres a LOT to be thankful for and a LOT has really happened to me..Last year it made me discover the real me. I had many questions,. And sometimes I pretended that im okay even if im not. Am I having psychological problems?! Nah,. I don’t think so.. maybe I just missed some things which I couldn’t do then. I got tired of people telling me things that I needed to do. I felt as if im always alone and had nowhere to run to, good thing I have my barkada and my family who understands what I’m going through.. (sniff!) that’s what im really thankful for last year. And of course for giving me one year full of laughter and tears..kudos!!

ay...bitin..=c

2005-01-05T23:31:00.000-08:00

Hehe.. at last im back from our 2 weeks vacation.. merely 10 days lng pla kse nd2 pko nung Monday for our enrollment..;p nice to be home for Christmas.. kse super excited ako umwi nung 20,. Nothing beats my grandma’s cooking!! When I got home I thought it was just another plain vacation.. but I really enjoyed this last vacation, khit na wala c mama at through fon ng nmen cya kausap.. ok nren..

reasons why I enjoyed my vacation:

** at last I got to eat REAL FOOD!! Meaning home cooked meal. (We started calling it real food with my sibs when we got tired of eating fastfood and self-fried food)

** nice to be home.. I missed my family, the cable(i can watch 8 straight hours of tv coz of this), aircon(need I explain it?!), dvd player(kaya nga kakapanuod ko plng ng windstruck nung vacation =c), my dad’s fon(I use it to save my load when txtng my friends and esp mom..haha..), our car( I get to have my personal driver kse..my bro..hehe..), the chilly breeze in the province which I didn’t really felt here in manila..

** my childhood friends and I got together for our mini “reunion” as we call it nun 24,. We ate at RAMOS Café and had to catch up with each other. We had so many chikas to each other. i was quite shocked to see some of them kse sobra iba na hitsura nila, sympre nman we were in grade school nung nging classmate ko cla.,. although I see them nman sa stgo pro nun ko nlng ulit cla nksama. we chatted while we ate,. Kakatawa nga kse 4 lng kme girls ndun,. Ceci, ribbon, yan and me pro we were the ones na nang iintrigue sa knila.. inisa-isa nmen cla as in each had their own moment to explain the chikas we had to pour on them.. it was funny to reminisce the things we did way back. We really had a good laugh dhel dun. tas cympre kme pinakamaingay..obviously we really missed each other kaya feeling nmen kme lng tao sa buong Café.. and the boys were getting a little annoyed ata smen kse we were really taking pics of the four of us every now and then.. tas ung iba cnama nmen cla.. after eating,. We went to Balintocatoc, wala lng to take pics then pra iba background.. haha.. nahilo nga ung guy dun sa mga pics nmen nung pinadevelop nmen.. haha..Though some didn’t make it, we had a blast nman.

Mei second part pa e2,. Nun 28 nagkayayaan lng sa 56, e invite ako ng mga bikers(ceci and ribon) tas un. Kme2 pren, ceci, ribon, me, francis, marlon t., marlon, henri, pro ndun na c dmplz, jc, lani and benjo. Sa 56 dpat kme, pro we were told na nde tuloy ung kakantang band don tas we were getting bored nren so lipat kme sa cuesights and ktv nlng kme.. hehe.. sya2 nga eh.. prng I wana be young again kse it was way simple back then..

** cympre papatalo b namn ung hs frens ko?! Kakatawa nga eh kse I thought d na matutuloy un,. Tas bgla 2mwag c cham sbe sndo ndaw nla ako.. haha.. nawala pa nga cla cham eh.. cnc pko.. cympre kme nnman 3 nagsama c nona and cham grbe ingay sa car.. tas pinagtalunan pa nmen ung horse sa JERSEY RESORT un pla COW and not a horse!! Hehe.. c robert, boaz, cham, nona, sands, hanelee, quennie, khrizel, marj, eireen, alex, carlo, c kaye ang nagpunta. So funny kse 1st sa sn mateo kme kse mjo phiya kme sa JERSEy, kailngn pla mei reservation,. Malay nmen.. nun sa sn mateo kme prng we weren’t satisfied sa resort.. buti nlng aunt ni Robert owner kaya libre kme,. Tas we went to Camp Vzcarra,. Mlpit sa Magat Dam, grbe ganda pla dun.. mei river lng tas a long hanging bridge na mjo nakakahilo.. and the entrance fee ay 5php lng,. Tas 150 na cottage.. aun chikahan tas ihaw ng tilapia na pagkatagal2 pnu nde nmen alam kung pnu.. hehe.. after dun punta kme sa MAgat Dam,. Cympre we savored every moment dun and sbra katakot kse ang taas eh.. mjo nagdramahan pa kme konti kse they were asking kung ano daw mas gusto nmen COLLEGE o HS.. and all of us blurted HS,. Oo nga nman dun kse sobrang kayo2 tlga magkaksama for ilang years.. TRIED and TESTED na ung mga un eh.. xe pag COLLEGe prng mei kanya2 na d b?! haaayy…. Kakamis 2loy.. =c

** cympre nagkita2 kme barkada nung bday ni joel nung 29,. C deb (grabe, how I miss her tlga), c anawim (na nahhya daw), c jem (cya nag plan), rolen (howe ni jem), jon (w/o her boi), mark (na mei howe na at rocker na), c manuel (na gnun pren htsura feeling ko), c marc glenn (mei past cla ni ana), of course c yan (better-half ni joel). Katuwa nga xe first tym nmen nakapunta sa haws nila joel,. As expected big and roomy.. shocked den kme sa mga kptid ni joel matatangkad na sa amen and iba na tlga face. I certainly miss HS days.. hay.. cympre we weren’t reminiscin this tym pro we were really thinking ahead na.. kung wat will we do after we graduate,. That stuffs.. naicip ko nga grabe tanda na nga nmen, and I wasn’t really certain yet wat my plans are.. cgro nga I better think na ngyn.. hmmnnn…

I had loads of pics from our so called reunions.. but I haven’t got it yet.. il post it as soon as I get them. so ul see that ISABELA is a nice place to go to, and its not the jungle-like province like most of u think it is!.. promise!!

2004-12-20T00:05:00.000-08:00

PAUL ARTADI!! mah idol and ultimate crush..;p

2004-12-20T00:04:00.000-08:00

this is mah cuz.. ANN.

2004-12-20T00:03:00.000-08:00

c shoti feeling cortez... hehehe..

iman nko!!!

2004-12-19T23:42:00.000-08:00

hay.. grabe sobrang tiring this day.. went up to tutuban(again) to buy stuffs that my dad willbe giving on christmas sa mga nagwork sa amen. kpagod nga mjo madme un pnbli nya and dme nren taosa tutuban,. as in!!

last night induction ng imacoe,. yipee!!! i have an academic org at last!! we went to pansol laguna and stayed overnight. ang ganda ng place sbra.. ung village pang above average un social status..hehe.the resort had 3 rooms equipped with aircon then meron social hall sa baba na mei billiard table withaircon and ref..not to mention the 3 pools..1 enough for at least 20 persons, one kiddie pool anda jacuzzi,. la nman tlga malalking pool sa mga private resorts sa pansol. not bad for 6k for 12 hours..ganda pa ng view.. before we get inducted, mei pa scq pa daw cla.. hehe.. we were given somme time tothink of something na ggwen nmen,. talent prng gnun. isa2 kme pinababa,. buti nlng naicip ko na nde na bumalik ung mga nauna,. so i volunteered agad. mga pang 4th ako.. cympre i didn't know what to do..nde nman ako pde sumayaw dun,. para akong tanga na walng tugtog.. geuss what i did?! i sang..=,(khit na sbrang hiya ako,. ok lng at least konti lng cla.. kinanta ko ang ever fave ko na..A LITTLE BITnkkhya pro msya,. mei nag-IN nman sken khit ppno.. c joms nga lng msma in-OUT ako?! ok lng.. ang sayanga eh kse we got to know our batchmates sa konting tym na un.. khit nde kme dte gnun kclose,. at leastthere are certain bond nren khit ppno. and i get to bond with my blockmates nren mjo nde nga lng kmebuo nuon pro saya nren..

at this point i am really bothered k joycee.. wala lng,. dte oo mjo naiintindhan ko cya pro cmla khponwhen i saw how he treats her,. prng ayoko na ren. i have nothing against THEM pro naawa ako kei joyceepag dumating ung tym na un. i noe nman na she loves him soo much but i think he's not worth it..

alone

2004-12-17T23:40:00.000-08:00

i went to greenhills alone today. maybe because i want to avoid things and accept that i'll fail in micro. i just wanted to be alone,. good thing i will buty gift for shobs and i have at least a reason to go out and be alone,.(she has classes till 5pm). after i bought the clothes i bought her,. i just went window shopping, i guess. i have bought 3 blouses with the shades of pink..geessshh.. i promised to be thrifty and not to spend a single cent in greenhills.almost all the stuffs there wanted me to take them home,. but at least i have stopped and am satisfied with the 3 blouses. i dunno what's with the pink stuffs and i'm beginning to get addicted toit lately. maybe because it's the fab and i really wana b gurly..:)

after greenhills i met up with Ann,my cousin, and accompanied her to tutuban. she was going to make herchristmas shopping.. sobra dme na ng tao.. although you can still shop freely pro sa labasng mall marame na tlga. cympre i was up to my bargaining skills again,. ;p and she was surprised to see that she bought many stuffs for under 1k..gling ko noh?! ;p

exams finished with a twist

2004-12-17T00:11:00.000-08:00

so bad day tlga ngyn,. finished na exams ko pro nakakagigil tlga.. nagpaverify kme knina sa micro, sbe ni mam aral lng daw tlga kme mabuti sa finals. 2 lng daw plng mjo2 papasa. ok lng sana un eh,. when i first saw her,. alam ko na ang mangyayare sken later on. after our finals, nagpunta kme ni timmy sa matsci nmen, we didn't really expect na gnun,. we saw our grades and 58% me and c timmy 57% nun una pa nga incomplete cya eh, tppos gumuho na mundo nmen,. bagsak na nga kme sa micro pti b nman sa matsci?! umiyak na c timmy kse nman d b?! tska nakakhya nren sa parents.. although naiiyak nren ako knina d ko lng maiiyak ewan ko b kung bkit.. i pretended that everything is ok..pro super naiyak nko nun sbra..

i went to sm wid shoti kse bli cya ng sneaks nya and i wanted to make myself busy and happy at the same time pra nman d ko maalala ung mga un.. nde ko ren makakayanan kaya un..=,(

we had our last household for the year,. kse maiiba na ang service ni buboy and papa bedz. it was really nice and exciting kse we played games sa wow and really bonded and shared stuffs about us. although magkakahiwalay na kme nde nman un end of the world kse magkikitakita pren nman kme,.

wheew.. can't sleep naaalala ko matsci kow..

shopping

2004-12-15T22:58:00.000-08:00

hehe.. we went shopping today,. biglaan lng xe aga ni shobe umwi. we bought gifts nren for our inaanaks.. naicip nmen un pra nman d na kme makipagsiksikan on the 20th. although marme nren tao, carry lng. sympre punta kme sa tutuban, mjo dme nga kme nbli eh wid our tight budget it was good though. i bought a skirt and a capri..hehe.. sooobrang mura dun kso lng kailngan tlga magaling ka mamili and di ka madaling mapagod sa kakahanap. pro mgging worth it nman un, kailngn magaling ka ren tumawad, un tipong ipapakita mo na u really want that thing tpos when you ask for the price pag mjo ayaw mo ung price, alis ka kunwari..hahabulin ka nila then they will ask you how much you want for that merchandise..o d b ang sya! it was a strategy i got from my mom..*wink*

it was a bonding moment for me and shobs nren,. we went to sm after that pa and bought some stuffs na wala sa tutuban..haha..

im dead tired nga eh,. khit mei micro exams pa 2m,. asa pa ko dun e sure nman na un na fail. excited na kse ako umwi ng prov kya e2 nnman ako wala pkialam sa finals..hahaha..

quotes

2004-12-13T22:59:00.000-08:00

-oo0oo- do you know why looking at someone you love makes you hurt inside... instead of making you happy? its becoz you know it will always be that way..."you're looking.... and him/her not knowing..."
-oo0oo-
He said: I miss you, I said: I miss you too, He said: Thank you, I said: For what? For giving me back my life, I said: No, thank you... you started mine.
-oo0oo-
Here we go again...shes breaking youre heart. Youd run to me and comfort the pain. Youll tell me the same line than sooner or later youll get over her. Then I smiled and thought...if only it was that easy...Id be over you too...

dead tired

2004-12-13T22:00:00.000-08:00

Im dead tired… pnu b nman 3 long exams kme sa micro ngyn. Buti na lng nahati.. ung supposed to be na 10-2 straight e nging 830-10 and 1130-2. okay lng sana pro un vacant nun mei finals me sa theory buti na lng exempted me,. Aba dapat lng ano.. ayoko na mag theory ulit!!! Kakangarag tlga dis day,. I slept at 230 na ata knina am, I was reviewing. Supposed to be ggcing ako ng 4 pro nakatulog ako tas ngcng nko ng 530,. E mit pa kme ni Gucci sa skul ng 630. meron kse cya exams nun micro last term,. E sa sbrang dme.. nagkagulo2 na. nakakainis nga eh, I didn’t expect nman na ung last term na quizzes 3, 4 n 5. un pren at walang pinagbago.. grrr… d ko nman alam na nagrerecycle den c mam ng exams. Buti na lng mjo2 nareview ko ung iba, takot tlga ako.. mgging sad pa ata December ko. Sa quiz 5, ung last 5 mins ni mam nagpaopen notes cya, as in ung lhat2 na maisusulat mo na sagot, buti n lng dala ko ung dictate sken ni Gucci kgbe,. Kung alam ko lng tlga na un na un na.. e d sana pinerfect ko… huhu.. nwei, gnun ata tlga..

Yesterday, matsci exam ko.. isa pang mahirap na exam. Wala ako masagutan. Nakakatawa pa nga kse we were minding our exam tas bgla na lng pumasok ung matangkad na prof, tas he were telling things like..”walang lilingon, kung d tatapon ko sa labas papers nyo, walang magtetext, tatapon ko sa bintana fon nyo”. Pagalis nya we were all laughing tas c rilloda pla un.. nakakatakot.. mei nahuli nga cya smen naguusap and they were sent sa disciplinarian pro pinaulit na lng daw ung exam sa knila.

After the exam, punta kme sa metro manila praisefest, sumama c ann, tel and shobe. C shoti d sumama, paimportante ewan ko ba dun.. aun, it was a Christmas party/woodstruck-victory party/praisefest. So nice to see many people there who had the same vision. Nag games lng kme by sector. Patawa nga cla kristel sa txttwist game, khit nilalagnat ako I did enjoy nman. And I get to bond with tel, shobs and ann again. Paguwi nmen dumaan muna me, shobs and ann sa sm, we ate and bonded a little bit. Naicip nga nmen pumunta sa tutuban before kme uwi. And to wear skirt this Christmas with matching similar slippers. (we spotted one sa egg kse..) cant wait to go home na..

Mis ko na mom ko,. Although we text and she calls.. iba pren eh..

2004-12-13T06:20:00.000-08:00

on our way

2004-12-13T06:18:00.000-08:00

one big fight!!!

2004-12-13T06:17:00.000-08:00

picture2

2004-12-13T06:16:00.000-08:00

praisefest sa dar

super sick..

2004-12-11T23:54:00.000-08:00

Soobrang mjo mei lagnat na ako,. cpon ko grbe.. katakot nga nung exam sa matsci kakahiya labas ako ng labas.. sakit ng ulo ko,, finals na next week.. bukas pla start na ng finals ko.

Arrghhh.. yoko ng gntong feeling,. Hirap magaral ng may sakit. I wanna end this week na, and go home and have a vacation. Cnxa na la me xado kwento pnu sama pkiramdam ko.. ciao!!

Lpit na induction ng imacoe, mei academic org nren me sa wakes, and I will get to bond with pia, honey, tina, faye and joyce again. I miss them soo much.

Nakausap ko c joyce knina, I was happy seeing her. Shes happy with what she has nman ngyn.. happy nren me sa knya..

Mukha nko c rudolph..nyahaha..(snif..snif..)

sick na tlga...

2004-12-10T23:53:00.000-08:00

Another long day for me,. I finished the resolved quizzes sa mechanics.,. pnu b nman kse tska cla magbbgay pag lapit na finals week.. grrr!!! Sabay2 tuloy! Ang haba,. 3 hrs kme nagsulat ni alta..sakit sa kamay!!

Nag hawshold kme ngyn, ang late na nga natapos. Its good though coz nalaman nmen wat bothers each and everyone.. dead tired and want to sleep..

sick

2004-12-09T23:52:00.000-08:00

DEAD TIRED!! 2 hrs lng sleep nmen.. we almost finished our prototype..super rush pa kme sa school knina kse 730 clas nmen. D pa tlga tpos ung prototype ng lhat, pgdting ni sir, pinapasok lng kme and pinatuloy ung ginagawa smen. Sa Tuesday nlng daw defense pag nagawa na. wag nren daw nmen ituloy ung memory na gngwa nmen, bili nlng daw kme. At least mas magaan d b?! pagdating ko ditto sa haws, pagkababa ko ng gmit ko, tulog agad ako till 8. im not feeling well, mukhang ttrangkasuhin ako.. cncpon nko, ubo, at lagnat.

May exam pko sa matsci,. E wala kya ako napag-aralan… grrrr!!! Tpos mei exam pa sa Saturday, tas finals sa Sunday. Tpos micro and theory sa Monday!!! Wahhh.. wana die na…
Saw panget knina, prehas pa kme naka red..(so meant kme?!) hehehe..

wala tulog..

2004-12-08T23:50:00.000-08:00

Umalis kme kila tammy ng 6 am, pgdting ko d2 sa haws, bagsak tlga ako.. o d b?! ang saya! Super antok ako,. 3 hrs plng tulog ko. Mei exam p kme knina sa theory.. wahh..Mei emergency overnyt ulit kme ngyn, what an achievement nakapunta ako kila yammie mag1. o d b?! ang saya!

Nagparamdam ang loko.. send lng ng quotes.. e d send den ako.. tama b?! hay nku,. D ko na nga cya linukumusta eh.. pram as ok smen 2.

hay

2004-12-07T23:46:00.000-08:00

Its been a long and tiring day for me.. nagkarroon kme ng emergency overnyt sa microlab pnu b nman bngay smen un knina eh nde pa nccmulan and it’s submission is on Thursday na.. ang sya d b?! sumama nren ako kse la pa nman tlga ako nggawa sa prototype nmen. We slept at yammie’s, magisa lng pla cya sa haws pnu ung buo fam nya asa Hawaii na.. as in 1 year na cya alone sa house. I was surprised to see her so independent, cya lhat. Ang tahimik nga sa bhay nila lge, lge ko tuloy cya tinatanong kung nde cya nabobore. Sanay na daw cya. D ko ata kaya un.. ako pa! super scaredy-cat ako! although she admits na nakakamiss tlga sbra, nasanay na daw tlga cya. So funny kse wala kme nagawa, we really didn’t know what to do with the ICs given to us. Mali kse ung circuit and kulang pa ng mga ICs. So we ended up, nagbond lng tlga kme. Gina, yammie, Gucci and me. Actually ngyn ko lng tlga cla nakasama although nging classmates ko nren cla before pro I was shy at first pro they are easy to get along with nman, kya kumapal nren muks ko! Hehehe... pinakita ni yammie ung scary pic na nakuhanan nila when they went to Alcatraz.(concert singer kse cya sa mapua) super scary tlga, prng may image ng tao sa may bed.. yi!!!

Ktxt ko c maxi, nakakatawa magdrama ang bata.. cra tlga un.. d pren over kei eka..d ko cya masisis first nya kse.

Im at it again,. Im feeding my fantasies. E pnu b nman sakto b nmang prehas km e ng shirt.. coincidence or meant to be?!(feeling)

2004-12-06T08:46:00.000-08:00

pacute

2004-12-06T08:43:00.000-08:00

kme 3! i look younger than them ano?!

la lng..

2004-12-05T23:54:00.000-08:00

May make-up class kme ngyn, 9 am. i arrived sa school mga 9:15 na, buti nlng nde pa nagstart. Konti nga lng nmen pumasok eh, we really thought may plus points for the effort of getting there khit Sunday pro wala pla.. arrrggghh sana pla d nlng ako pumasok para lng dun..went to YMCA pren kse la pa ko sa mood umwi eh,. Nanood kme basketball girls nakakatawa ang kulit nga eh.. I was getting FC with joan, hehehe.. she was really nice nman..

Nagpabili sken c shoti ng gift for Irish.. wala lng I wasn’t sanay kse sa gnun.. although given the fact na it was her bday 2m pro wla lng.. napapaicip 2loy ako.. naicip ko makaka2 na c shoti ako wala pa…hahaha…

C maxi naku in denial pren.. alam ko nman un nde namn madali kalimutan un.. ayaw pa umamin.. hehehe..

no class!!!

2004-12-04T23:50:00.000-08:00

My mom called.. at last I heard her voice again,. I do miss her sooooo much.. we talked about stuffs and we had to hung up because it was a long distance call anyway.. I do miss her though,. Really..

Went to school today for my one and 0nly class and guess what?! Our prof wasn’t around.. grrrr.. it was ok because we were supposed to have an exam and I didn’t reviewed much for that.. and I did have a sign,. (I guess so!) Although I wasn’t really asking for it.. feeling k0 me nlng ngbbgay ng meaning sa bgay2.. hehe.. well its free nman and I was the only one who knows about him..and maxi pla..hehe.. hay naku d nman na tlga ako ngwiwish na maging kme tlga pro at least in my quiet moments or should I say in my day-dreaming moods pwede lhat..

I went to see ann my cuz today, she texted me mga 3:30 timing nga kse la kme prof and I was dying to go somewhere. May sportsfest pla cla sa may YMCA just beside SM Manila, e wala cya magawa. I met Joan(our cuz’s cuz), she was to compete sa volleyball. There were a lot of people ren, there were some cute guys and pretty girls too. Ayun, we went to SM and just window shopped kse nman ang init sa venue nila. We are planning to do bracelets this Christmas, napadaan kse kme sa Simple Joys. Ang saya lng.. at least I had time to bond with her ulit..

Its my dad’s bday.. I greeted him and he joked for a gift.. honestly I don’t have anything for him yet, m still searching for the perfect gift..

I cooked SINIGANG pla yesterday,. Yes!! I am learning.. hahaha.. para they wouldn’t tease me na lalo na c bedick!

bayanihan

2004-12-04T01:29:00.000-08:00

Im glad the super typhoon is going out of the Philippines. At least I have nothing to be afraid of,. Thankfully the typhoon didnt really hit Luzon. Although it was said to be super typhoon and we were preparing for it, it didnt really destroy many. It is considered a miracle for the damage caused by the typhoon was really nothing compared to the many lives taken by the first typhoon WINNIE. I think our prayers are really powerful. Im glad my family in Isabela is okay. The hospitality and bravery of the Filipinos are once again tested and proven. There are quite a number of volunteers that repacks relief goods to be brought to the areas mainly hit by the typhoons. We didnt really feel the typhoon, nakita pa nga nmen ung sun eh. And we didn’t have class again,. I am not happy seeing many lives are taken by the typhoons,.

I watched scq and I thought my bet was the one to be voted out. Im glad Theo is still in!!

Last night I checked my mail in hellokitty.com and I looked into the items featured and I had my lust list again. Haha.. guess have to text my mom about these ones.. and it really cost way lower than it would cost here in the philippines. Here are some of them.. actually I know I can’t have the trailer but I do really want it, maybe when I have my work na.. I would definitely save for that in a year?! Haha.. tatah…

2004-12-04T01:01:00.000-08:00

the inside..full of hellokitty stuffss...

2004-12-04T01:00:00.000-08:00

the trailer..=(

2004-12-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

the purse i want! at $10!!

BUMMED

2004-12-02T22:36:00.000-08:00

Haaa.. wala kme class.. I was really surprised when they told me na la na daw tlga psok..(for the first time..on time ang mapua magsabe) obviously, were experiencing the super typhoon YOYONG, it is super strong na ung laki nya mas malaki pa sa land area ng luzon.. and the wind is really strong.. ngyn lang ako natakot sa wind kse nman mei sounds pa.. kala ko sa movies lng un,. Scary.. sa Isabela cgnal no. 4 na nga and its raining hard according to my dad.. he was checking us knina pang morning.. went to the grocery for some stuffs(nag panic buying mode ako), la na kse kme canned goods and some foods.. better be ready, d b?! lalo na ngyn plng tlga papunta ung bagyo.. scared ako tlga.. tom nga la ren psok(yippee!).. pro im sad to watch the news and see many people hurt and nawalan ng haws.. katatapos plng ng isang bagyo.. I do hope umalis na c YOYONG.. because of the storm, na postponed tuloy un ee-ece-coe night, toni was super excited pa nman knina, actually mas mganda na un kesa well all end up stuck dun sa venue.. I do hope the typhoon would pass na, it was really destroying many peoples lives..

As usual, naka log lng ako maghapon.. and had some catching up to do with pia.. meron na pla cyang mga u noe?! Hehe.. I miss her though,. We haven’t got that much time like we had before.. buti nlng mei blog na..hahaha..

C maxi na na fall-out-of-love aun kinukulit ko.. they broke up na daw last nyt.. katawa nga un break up nila eh,. Prng cnbe nya lng na fall-out-of-love na cya tas sbe nun gurl same then tpos na.. weird noh?! I was expecting some mushy-explanations, pro wala.. gnun lng daw..weird..

I bought some back issues ng chalk.. ala kse mgawa and natawa lng ako sa article coz theyve asked swoon-worthy men what they really like for a gurl..

Here are some of their answers(actually these are some of my faves) and maybe we can get some points in snagging some of the guys attention..(*wink*)

*By the way she carries herself, handles conversations and speaks her mind..
*I get turned on with the girls ability to extract the soft and sentimental side of men without us knowing it..
*She has to be one of the guys,. Spontaneous and down for anything..
*simple and confident. Whem a woman is witty and real..
*God-fearing..

but above all, who cares,. As long as were comfortable with ourselves and were merely not changing to become somebody else.. we do exude the factors that would definitely snag mr. right! Ciao!

letting go...

2004-12-02T00:34:00.000-08:00

Hah..i hate what im feeling ryt now.. I let go of someone who has a very special part of me..am that weird.. I didn’t know what to do,. And it was the right thing to do..(I thought)
Yeah,. Now I know the answers.. the real problem is ME not them.. I’m afraid to take chances.. and I’m selfish.. I just didn’t want them to prove themselves huh.. I finally found my katapat in him.. he made me realize and accept some things which then I myself wasn’t sure of.. I thank him for that,. I know I have done the right thing.. although it hurts a bit.. at least.. am I that selfish?! E gusto ko lng nman xe na habang maaga cnsbe ko na,. kesa nman paasahin ko cya tas pag mei nhanp ako iba tska ko ssbhin.. ang pangit nman nun d b?! un kde nde nya maintindihan,. Cgro that’s life.. he just don’t know n am hurt den nman,. I cried again.. pangit noh.. maybe m just not yet ready for such things or I really wanted someone who will fully understand me.. selfish nga ako.. nde ko man lng cya binigyan ng chance tpos magkakaganito ako ngyn… arrghh I hate this feeling,. Im in denial sa mga bagay2,. Ayan ano napala ko?! It hurts again,. E ako lng nman den mei kslanan.. e2 nnman ako,. I hate it!! M really sad.. but ive learned things through him,. This made me a better person and made me real stronger. If it wasn’t because of him, I would pretty much be the girl that really wasn’t showing her feelings.. at least I tried to give him a little chance but I guess that’s just the way it is.. Last nyt we txted,. I tried to explain many things to him that either I couldn’t understand.. I wanted really to get away from him and I tried not to text him before,. it would benefit him then nman kse for all I know, mas mgging mahirap kung wel still txt each other although were friends. Un nga ung ayw ko mawala eh,. Ung closeness nmen,. Pro naicip ko bka ngging selfish na nga ako nun.. cgro painful but if it is the only way,. E d ok lng.. kung alam lng sana nya..

My other crush texted me..god’s plan: I don’t have a load.. hehehe.. It’s funny to think na I was drooling over him before,. Wala lng.. it’s just that the way I acted before was just really isn’t me,. I was soo into him that I kinda flirted a little bit.. (sooo not me!) he flirted with me rin kse and I fell on his trap.. I know he just plays around with girls and im glad I was away from him before it got worse.. but his still my friend.. really..

m back!!!

2004-11-30T22:50:00.000-08:00

Haven’t blogged for a while.. but m back

Haven’t seen my friends lately, I mean I do miss them,. I can’t seem to find time with them because I’m busy or I’m just making myself busy?! I do miss them though.. haven’t made chikka to them lately.. except for joyce,. she have gg nren,. I am happy for her really but their relationship has a twist.. I know and she looks so happy with him nman pro I made sure that she really knows kung ano pinapasok nya..although she knows nman and she’s ready for the consequences, cnbe ko nren sa knya nab ka dmting ung time na she would really demand time,. D nman maiiwasan un eh.. but shes ready nman and she’s happy.. go for it!

One of my friends was falling out of love with his gf,. Maybe because of the long distance relationship thing,. Or maybe he was just tired of the things they’ve been through.. prng nde kse nagbabago.. and weird,. Now he doesn’t know how to tell her,. He’s planning to tell her after xmas.. sbe ko nga sa knya asap nlng as long as sure na sure na cya sa feelings nya kse ang hirap nun kung papatagalin pa tpos he’ll just pretend na meron pa khit walang wala na..d b?!(that’s one reason den kung bkit ayaw ko eh,. I am not really ready for a commitment)

Im okay though,. We watched BECAUSE OF YOU last Sunday at last,. It was funny and really cute. Feeling ko nga para saken tlga ung story nila heart,. She’s afraid to take chances kse..hehehe.. grabe when I watched the movie swak na swak tlga sken.. after the movie, shobe was talking to joan(her bessy) she talked to me and made a little sermon or just a reality check about me.. or should I say about my lovelife,. (yeah, that’s ryt!) sbe ko nga kei god sign na ba tlga toh, na kailangan ma bother na ako?! I mean after gboy and toni, after belle forwarded some quotes about luv., tpos sila den?! They really didn’t make sermon but they just cited some instances that may happen.. They were just concern about me daw.. funny to think that I was really listening and the one lecturing me was really younger than me. D nman daw sa encourage nila ako or something pro ayaw lng nila na I would end up eating the things na mga cnsbe ko,. And that I would end up to someone that wasn’t really good for me.. tska mas maganda daw na may experience na ako pra nman dw d ako mging “tanga”. Yup, they are right but it really just depends on the girl on how she handles things d b?! I wouldn’t want den nman to end up with mr. wrong.. I should find prospects na nga daw eh, and I better make a move na.. haha.. I really think that god is really preparing someone for me,. Someone that would really swipe me off my feet.. but they do have a point, I mean I wasn’t really the type who shows special treatment or something khit na super-duper I was drooling over someone., I can really pretend I didn’t like him at all,. That’s how good I am,.. kaya siguro I always end up like this.. and d b nga I’m afraid to face the reality that I’m really falling for someone.. maybe the reason about this is all about me,. Hahaha.. I am really weird…

sour grapers!!!

2004-11-26T22:35:00.000-08:00

Arrrggghhhhh… i’m got yoshi’s mood and anger.. I just can’t understand why some people can’t seem to accept their failure and why would they assume things in the first place?! I was told earlier that our friend, who won the title Ms. Industrial Engineering 2004 was questioned by some of her co-candidates for the said contest. They were telling things like she’s not deserving, she’s this and that.. and that she paid the Student Council for her title.. I mean duh?! In the first place she just joined for fun,. They were accusing her to the point that mel just cried for the whole day and they were talking to her as if it wasn’t them who backfights her.. buti nman sana kung they have the faces pra magsalita ng mga ganun.. tska they assumed things kse na cla na mananalo.. e ano nman ksalnan ni mel kung nkuha nya lhat?! D nman cla magsasalita ng gnun kung cla nanalo.. hay nku.,. I really am angry at them.. sbe ko nga kila mel, chin up lng..sour losers lng mga un.. naawa lng den ako kei mel kse she was telling yoshi daw na sana d nlng cya nanalo,. And bgay nlng nya sa knila ung awards nya.. hay nku.. bitter tlga! U bet!!!

strike...

2004-11-25T22:59:00.000-08:00

The strike of the transport groups started today, it was more of they wanted to lower down the amount of petroleum.. almost all the schools have no class, and I was happy to hear that we have no classes today,. But binawi nila un., duh?! We were the only ones going to school.. as if it was new,. Khit na signal no.5 pa ata we will still have our class.. I was late coz I was deciding whether I would go to school or not. I rushed into my room and saw 2 of my classmates,. We have no class and the prof wanted our attendance lng.. most of the students were roaming around because most of them don’t have class,. E d sana umwi nlng cla ng maaga..

I’m into my day dreaming mood again,. Saw my crush ulit..

sad...=(

2004-11-24T23:49:00.000-08:00

I’m clueless.. I really didn’t know what I want to do with my life. I’m into a situation wherein I really can’t explain. i really don’t know if I’m just like this or I’m in denial that I really am falling for him.. Yup, I do enjoy his company. I maybe too selfish to say, that I really want him to be there for me all the time. I can’t blame him to be mad. He just wanted an assurance that these things wouldn’t lead him to nowhere. But I can’t give him answers now. Because I can’t understand myself either, I don’t know if I’m just too afraid to get into commitment or maybe this is just me. I’m happy with my life., I’m really afraid that I might meet the wrong guy.. yeah, I’m idealistic.. I close all possibilities and events that might happen,. Harsh ko ba?! Feeling ko kse alam ko na mangyayare,. (and I didn’t expect this to happen) why am I writing this nga ba?! Is it because I’m afraid of what I might loose or I just pity him and I didn’t want the friendship to be stained.. both I think,. Naguguluhan na ko.. is it a sign that I’m falling for him?! I decided not to text him na, maybe it’s best for the both of us,. Lalo ko lng cya binibigyan ng problema,. Malay mo nag assume den cya.. now I know why still I don’t have a boyfriend.. magulo ako! un lng un wala ng iba! I can’t accept that I’ve fallen..

2004-11-23T22:37:00.000-08:00

my tutuban finds..;p

shopping

2004-11-23T22:33:00.000-08:00

Saw my crush today, he was getting cuter everyday. Maybe because I didn’t see him the other days so I thought he was much much cuter today. And his eyes…melts my heart..

Went to Tutuban with my sis today, I saved enough money to buy a pair of jeans and a blouse. I ended up buying a pair of jeans, 3 blouses(2 of them in shade of pink), a slipper(high enough to be worn in school). All these for just 850.. I have my bargaining-powers pa pala... the red shorts only costs 50 php..teehee..

MAPUAN tlga

2004-11-22T23:05:00.000-08:00

My mom’s flight was 12:50 pm. we went to the airport at around 10 am, I felt sad a little but didn’t want my mom to see it. I was absent again for my 1st subject of course! good thing our prof wasn’t around.. hehe..

====================
On my way to class, they were giving away new issues of the TNB, short for The New Builder..(our school paper). Bedick was one of the featured person in the paper.. I was amazed on how he answered the questions he was given, he totally changed! Although he’s still the same humble and deep Bedick.. but he seems not the person I’ve known last year..

One article that really caught my attention, I think all mapuans would agree was the featured article.. It featured how a typical Mapuan goes throughout the day and how his day goes, complete with the minutes and all.. I realized how really hectic our day-to-day activities were, and how Mapuans really do these things.. I’ve copied some for you to read.. enjoy!!

6:24 AM –“Kriiiiing!” sounded your alarm clock and coming from a deep 3-hour sleep after reviewing for your Calculus exam, you realized it’s already 6:24. Four words came into your mind: ”I WILL BE LATE”.

7:28 AM – finally, you reached the LRT Edsa Station. On your way up to the ticket booth, you dropped a portion of your module that contains majority of the lessons. Left for you to review, were few examples which were certainly too easy to answer if they are to be given in an exam.

7:41 AM – on your way out, you breezed your way to the underpass as fast as possible. There you met your crush whom you wished you had more time to talk to. But since you’re in a hurry, you just said: sorry ha, late na ako eh.. I’ll see you later na lng. After that sweet encounter, an old lady wearing red pants and bandana asked you for some spare change with the dramatic line ‘excuse me, pwede ba magtanong? Pwedeng makahingi ng limang piso kasi wala akong pamasahe pauwi?’

9:57 PM – finally, you are home. Your mom asks, “kumain ka na ba?” you answered with a simple nod, too exhausted to narrate the usual but adventurous day in school.

10:01 PM – you remembered your drawing assignment that should be passed tomorrow. Because you are the true-blooded Mapuan, you just murmured, “kaya ko ito! Kahit walang tulugan..”

Truly Mapuan!!

====================
It’s so funny how my batch mates were maturing. Some of them has/have their own family and some are married. I was able to catch up with the latest buzz courtesy of nona, we were just laughing and reminiscing about our life in high school and realized that we were getting older but not maturing..hahaha.. i certainly miss those times..

2004-11-22T08:04:00.000-08:00

luggage of my mom...=(

2004-11-21T22:30:00.000-08:00

The Christmas spirit is really visible amongst the malls and the streets of Manila.. we went to Tutuban and there were so many people. I started to window shop for the clothes we want to wear for Christmas. We wanted to be girly on Christmas Day..

I’m sad really.. my mom will go back to the states tomorrow. Though she would come back in April, I was saddened by the fact that she wouldn’t be here for Christmas and New Year for the second time around..

raining

2004-11-20T11:45:00.000-08:00

I’ts raining again…I just hate rainy days since hs.. though it can be quite cool coz there lies the possibility of having no classes.. but I just hate it and don’t just feel like moving when it rains.. it drops my mood bigtime!

I woke up at around 8 am, feeling good and went to Mcdo Edsa for our weekly household with AIMS. After our hh, went to school to attend my one and only class for this day. I hate walking when it rains.. not to mention the dirt it causes to my sneaks..=( good thing I brought my ever-reliable yellow umbrella..=) I headed to the tambayan and saw many people concentrating and playing WORD FACTORY.. the CHESS, GAMES OF THE GENERALS and UNO STACKO addiction in the tambayan was over.. I bugged them a little and went straight to my class. Gboy and Toni didn’t want to go home early and they decided to sat in my class.. the ever-so-boring prof of mine started discussing and I was so bored that we just doodled and chatted in class. He started discussing the usual ceramics, glass thingy,. It was a material class anyway.. our prof kept on staring at Toni..haha..=) after class, the 3 of us wanted to unwind.. or just to free myself from the things in my mind.. it was raining a little and we had a hard time going to the mall. We saw den and she teased us that we were only going to the mall to see SARAH GERONIMO. We planned to just look at Sarah. There were already many people waiting for Sarah to sing, we squeezed ourselves in to have a great view. Minutes passed and still she was nowhere in sight, although it started already. I really thought we were insane because it’s our first time to really squeeze in to a large group of people just to see a local artist., I just laughed at that thought. Then Sarah came out, God! She was pretty! She was this teenager who doesn’t have that much kiyeme and all. She was pretty much herself, the way she laugh and talk, no wonder she came this far,. And she would definitely come a long way. I find it so cute that most of her fans are little kids. They were holding cd’s and posters of her for autograph signing later on. The little kid in front of me really got my attention, his mom was getting tired of holding him up just for him to see Sarah,. The little boy was ignoring his mom because his eye was glued to Sarah, he kept on waving every time Sarah glanced his way.. after that we just window shopped..(my own way of releasing stress I guess..) I was frustrated to see some things I wanted to buy but I can’t..i’m broke..=( we had dinner at McDo and started discussing some things.. it’s funny how one person say one thing but means the other. And how you put in mind that you don’t love a person even if your heart says the total opposite.. love nga nman…=)

FYI: the packed catsup at Mcdo are numbered from 1-8, 1 having the most taste of tomato and 8 being the least..(tnx Toni..)

i'm whole again..

2004-11-20T01:01:00.000-08:00

I just really feel great…I was picking up the broken pieces of me.. I am whole again,. For the last days, I was really escaping and pretending that I was really okay, but inside I was not. I didn’t really know why I feel that way, maybe because I was fed up and literally tired of what I’m doing. I wasn’t happy anymore, but God really didn’t stopped bugging me, he was sooo patient to make me “kulit”. He even used many people to make me feel his love for me and for me to embrace his plans for me.. I was really undeserving of the blessings he had given me but I’m sure that he molds me into someone that is worthy of his blessings...I just can’t explain my feelings but I am really happy…

As I was writing this I downloaded some mushy-stuffs hehehe..i’ve posted one of my fave for you to read(kakarelate kse ako).. enjoy!!!

A Letter To the One that God has Prepared For Me

I am wondering at this very minute if you are thinking of me, if like me, you are wondering what is taking us so long to find each other. Many times I thought I finally found you only to be disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended. I get up each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to meet you. I am thinking of how we will meet, would it be as romantic as the ones I have seen in movies? Or is it possible that I have known you all my life but we have yet to realize that we are meant for each other? Oh how I wish you were here right now because you are the only one who has the answers to all my questions. Sometimes I ask myself if I have ever really known "love". I do not have the answer to that question either but I believe that, more often than not, we will never really know what love is until we find that right person…. and since I have not found you yet, then maybe I do not really know what love is! You just don’t know how often I dream of finally knowing what it feels like to be in your arms. Even at this very moment I am imagining how you will simply sweep me off my feet! Perhaps I would be drawn to you by your smile, or your eyes, or maybe even how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways! I don’t really know for sure but I am praying that God will help me recognize you when the right time comes. I think of all the pain that I have gone through in the past and of how much I have cried since the day I began my search. I just wanted you to know that I find my strength in clinging onto my vision of the beautiful life ahead of me --- the life I shall spend with you. In my mind and in my heart I know that you are worth all that pain and sacrifice. After all, the tears have become a part of my life and I believe that they are slowly washing away my flaws so that I would become perfect, not perfect in its truest sense, but perfect --- for YOU! I wonder if you’ve gone through so much pain as well. I wonder if you’ve been hurt so many times along the journey. But my dearest one, please don’t ever give up because I am right here… patiently waiting for you! I assure you that when we finally find each other I would slowly heal those wounds by my love. At night, I would look out my window and stare at the beautiful sky, hoping that somehow you are also looking up and wondering about me. I utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens above thinking that in time they would reach you. And when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes and believe that you are on your way and that you are longing to see me as well. It is funny but when I finally fall asleep, it is still you that I think of, for you are always in my dreams. It seems that, for now, that is the only place where I can hold on to you, long enough to tell you how much I love you. In my dreams you would kiss away my fears and wrap me with your arms of love. And this, all the more, makes me want to wake up and face the new day ahead with the hope that soon enough, you will no longer be a dream but a reality and once again I am assured that you are worth the wait. And when that time comes, everything will fall into its place, just as I had imagined, just as I had thought and dreamed, just as I had believed it would be! By then, I would simply look back and smile at all that I have gone through, in spite of the pain and amidst the simple joys of life --- and I would be very thankful because they all led me to you! In the meantime, take care of yourself for me. Hold on to our dream and don’t even think of letting go. Believe in your heart that we will find each other no matter what happens. God has planned the course and it is up to us to follow the directions. Don’t worry, don’t be afraid about getting lost, God saw to it that all the roads, no matter which one you choose to follow, lead to me.

scary thought...

2004-11-18T23:07:00.000-08:00

Feeling a little scared..and I don’t know why…=(

I woke up late..not actually, bdck called as early as 6 am to ask about our assignment, I was kinda groggy that time and feeling so sleepy and decided to sleep for 30 minutes,. I woke up and it was 7am already and I have class at 7:30, our prof is allowing us to be late nman eh,. But not that late.. as I was preparing for school, I realized I haven’t completed/stapled my report yet,.what a morning huh?! When I went to class, good thing we didn’t do much, we just passed our multisim proposal and he allowed us to go home already..

I went to the chapel and made kulit with the kids there…ÜÜ it sure is nice to see a lot of people now in our tambayan..most of them I really don’t know or I can’t even remember their names..but they know mine..haha..and arvin from mapua-makati came over to visit the school,. Haven’t seen him for a long time,. We catch up with each other and made kweto about some things..after I had my lunch I decided to go to the internet shop for I have files that can’t be read in my pc..as I was downloading and browsing some stuffs, suddenly I felt kinda weird: I felt dizzy and nervous, not to mention the feeling that I wanna vomit or something. I surely didn’t know why I’m feeling that,. It made me scared. Really scared.. I really wanted to cry..but I can’t.. I texted my mom, my dad, my brother and my sister.. they assured me that they are okay.. but up to now, I’m feeling a little weird and scared..=,(

lovelife...

2004-11-18T19:00:00.000-08:00

“hala ka, sbe ni francis pag 20 years old na daw tas la pa gf/bf mag-ingat na daw kse bka ul end up being an old maid..”

these were the words gboy said when we talked on the phone one night..as I heard that,. I went into a little panic mode..(really!!) NO!! that fact isn’t true.. my dreams came crushing down..what about my plans to have my own family, my very own children, to see them grow up and to accompany them on their first day in school, to chat with them with school matters and their crushes, to help them with school works, to help them decorate their own rooms, and to have those family bonding SUNDAYS with my very own family.. after that conversation, that phrase did bugged me everyday.,(hehe..)

come to think of it, oo nga noh,. I wasn’t getting any younger(d bale d nman obvious sa looksÜÜ).. there are still few guys who seem to be blinded by me..(*wink*) they are not bad looking nman and they are nice, but still I didn’t want them,. Am I being true to myself or just being too idealistic?! Maybe both..haha..kse nman I didn’t want to enter a commitment and I’m not yet ready,. Icip bata pa kse ako eh., maybe a little too idealistic, sympre nman u would want to have a real and good boyfriend d b?! e d mamili ka na.,it’s not bad nman I think..and u should really think a zillion times before entering into a relationship,. I wouldn’t want to have regrets nman in the end..pero as everybody knows nman when u love there are no regrets and u’ll definitely learn to accept each other no matter who he/she is. that’s love!! As the mom of betsy on the movie now that I have you said: “kung tlgang mahal mo siya, matututunan mo rin tanggapin ang hinde perpekto sa knya at gnun din cya sau..kailangan tanggapin na magkaiba kayo at patuloy kayong magbabago...e nagmamahal ka eh” corny but proven true.. ÜÜ (yeah, I love mushy-romantic movies..) sometimes I really wonder when will he come my way, I mean I know GOD really is preparing someone for me and he would definitely give it to me at the right time and at the right place, d nman sa naiinip na ako pero minsan napapaicip na tlga ako..kung kelan, saan at sino.. minsan nga ako na sinisisi ng barkada ko,. Masyado daw ako mapili at pakipot, e what would they want me to do,. Grab each guy courting me?! Like duh?! I want it to be perfect.. far in reality but I would want my first boyfriend to be my husband.. (asa pa koh..) minsan tlga napapicip na ako eh,. D nman sa ngging jealous ako sa mga couples na nkkta ko,. Naiicip ko kse minsan what kya feeling ng u’ve been taken care of.. almost all my barkada kse has/had bf na ako nlng tlga never..sbe nga nila magpaparty cla once they’ve heard na meron nko.. ÜÜ sometimes or should I say most of the times I daydream nlng lalo na pag badtrip ako,. na I have my GOD’s gift already and I knew how it feels to be loved by him..(yuck!) kelan kaya?! Kelan?! Kelan?!

Somewhere there is someone who
dreams of your smile
Someone who finds your presence
worth while
So when you are lonely remember
this--
That there is someone,
somewhere...Thinking of you!

it's best to wait for the one you want than settle for the one available.
Best to wait for the one you love than one who's around
best to wait for the right one because life's too short to be waisted on
just someone.

wishing, hoping, dreaming...

2004-11-17T10:05:00.000-08:00

this is me,.yeah..

reminiscing the past..

2004-11-17T01:59:00.000-08:00

it's 1 am already and still can't sleep..I wonder why..many thoughts have been haunting me today,.

Before anything else..
I guess it is just fair enough for me to say "some" things about me..(ahah.., it's my blog anyway!!) I'm darlene mae, my mom got my name darlene from her bestfriend's name (i kinda thought it was cool coz i never expected that they had such nice names like that before..) I am the first among a brood of four. But wait till you see the four of us, u'll definitely think I am the youngest,. maybe because of my "petite" frame..(haha..) My sibs say that I am a papa's girl, beside the fact that I look a lot like my dad, I'm more affectionate kse..*wink* I grew up with my grandma until I was 2, (that's why I'm a fave of my lola). And I'm her first granddaughter,.she would always cook my favorite food and would always buy stuffs for me..

I went to IJMS for nursery, nursery was cool and I really loved the fact of going to school..I've met so many friends from which up to now friends ko pren..=)

kindergarden & elementary..I transferred into a Chinese school sa SCI(FYI: 1/4 chinese pla ako, nde lng halata..)actually, some of my classmates nun nursery classmates ko pren nun grade school..I met my "long-time" bestfriend here..ang funny ren kse lge nppglitan ung barkada nmen,. lge nlng kme tntwag..hahaha...and this is where we first got into a quarrel, cgro gnun tlga pag kids pa keo,. la pa masydo iniicip..ang petty nga ng pinagawayan nmen with the other group(s), minsan d ako sumasama kse it was my stuff, still i was the goody-two-shoes kinda gurl..I was the valedictorian pla..(d lng halata..)

highschool..I transferred(again) sa PYCS, sbe kse ng dad ko mjo bumababa na standards ng SCI before so he made me transfer,.at first i didn't really liked it, biruin mo b nman nka DORM ako.,yep, nakadorm nko nun khit 30 mins away lng ung school ko, naicip ng mom and dad ko na prng training nren nmen un kse obviously here kme sa manila study pag college..eventually I've learned to liked it..dme ko naexperience, my first crush, my puppy love(corny!), my first heartache(as if), my first offense.,but truly I've learned so much from it., and I've met the real friends na super tried and tested..the experiences I had would never ever fade..(boohoo..m crying na..)

College..sa Mapua na ako study.,one of the blessings I had is when I studied in Mapua, I met real friends and a family..YFC family. from my stay here I've learned a lot I may say.. and still learning from my mistakes..

it's so nice to sometimes be like a kid, the kid I used to be, who doesn't worry about the things around her.. just playing it simple and excitedly looks forward on the day ahead of me..

feeling really GOOD!!

2004-11-16T07:14:00.001-08:00

haaay.. rise and shine!!! (no, i didn't just woke up!) la lng, i just feel i'm on my "not-so-daldal mood " today..hahaha..but I do feel very GOOD!! yesterday was kinda hectic for me,. after going to novaliches for the women's overnyt and bonding,. we went to the sportsfest sa BOMBER..nice to see a lot of people there..the one's na minsan2 lng tumambay sa chapel and mostly new ones,. cool i thought,. too bad nga lng nanatalo north A sa una game,. hehehe..nde ko nga napnod eh pno 11:30 na kme nakarating and sympre it started already,. actually iba na nga teams ung naglalaro nung dmting kme,. although i really want to stay,. i can't coz i have an "important" meeting with the YFC in Santiago..m late na tlga nun pro i just felt the urge na ituloy un,.we went to SM Manila(ever!) kse dun meeting place,. and it was already 2:30 when we got there and we set the meting at 2 pm,. tpos mjo na badtrip pko kse they started texting me and sbe nun iba sa rob nlng daw xe ndun na cla and they have a practice, I started praying then coz I felt that maybe this is not what god wanted me to do.. then I felt the urge to do it no matter what,. Tinuloy ko pren.. we had our household in KFC,. It just went great and I really am glad that I’ve talked to them what I’ve been thinking and praying over the last few weeks..(thank God my sleepless nights are over!) from what we had yesterday, I think I’ve known their other side..I’m really happy for what had happened cause I would’ve known what they really feel and what’s really happening to them now,.kse nman whenever we meet kala ko they don’t have any problems,.but who doesn’t d b?! m really thankful for this day and m not regretting…

waiting for my class..

2004-10-30T02:26:00.000-07:00

yahoo..alas i have my blog already..at least i have a reason to smile for.. supposedly i'm in the province now but my sooo darn good professor didn't allow us to take advance lessons in his other class..(yeah, that's how good he is..) that's why i'm stuck here in manila waiting for my class at 6 pm. i have nothing to do and i'm sad.. my other friends are in the province already,. too bad for me..can't wait to see our prof later..i don't understand why we have classes on the 30th of October..my 3 pm class prof wasn't around today, he wouldn't come to class pla he didn't even told us the other day,. i was rushing pa nman knina,. buti nlng i saw one of my classmates..(wheww..bad day isn't it?!) i just hope that my 6pm prof would show up!! or else!! i am not really in my mood today..maybe because tha thoughts of my friends enjoying in the province made me really homesick..

i have to go to school pa..